Tuesday, November 23, 2010
More on Korea, Part I
Monday, November 22, 2010
So it is, then...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
It's Been Slow Today
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
There will be more
I am REBORN
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Fear and Loathing, Even Still...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Well, well...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Where's Hawkeye When You Need Him?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Whiskey, Raisin Bran, Pall Malls.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
News, Always a good way to start
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Learn to People, and Let's Talk
I haven't been updating as much as I'd hoped, and there is good reason for this; my immune system decided that it was too good for the likes of a bum like me and took off at the start of last week. Fever set in, and then a hacking cough. Between those two some unknown and stealthy trickster god crept up on me when I wasn't looking and shoved a wad of packing tissue down my chest, lodged just past the diaphragm and making breathing an irritating task. At this point, I took that simply as further argument to stop breathing, which had been my desire for at least a day...and then came the insomnia. I don't know if any of my readers have been physically unable to sleep while in the throes of a hacking cough for any amount of time. It was three days before I got any sleep, and a week before I got decent sleep. The vision quest would have been magnificent if not for the sobbing wheezes of my lungs.
But I have been made manifest again! Praise be unto Nyquil and bouillon cubes and Nyquil, also to Livetta for nursing me back to health and taking care of me and having WAY more patience than I could have ever deserved. Show her some love in return and read her blog; the stuff I hack together pales in comparison.
Now, because I was ill and therefore unable to be productive (You try cleaning guns when you double over every time you cough. Want to see where your finger slips, Gambling Man?) I decided to return to a favorite website of mine, Omegle. The premise is simple: you talk to someone, anonymously. That's it. You connect with another human being somewhere in the world and speak about whatever you want without the judgments and burdens of identity. Think of the implications of that; confessions, deep and honest discussions, anything you want to say but are afraid to can be communicated freely. This should be the ultimate forum for political, philosophical, religious discussion; there's no judgment here because the both of you are words on a screen, ideas being exchanged. I was eager to get back on; I wanted to talk Sarah Palin and Catholicism and war and death and taxes and literature. I wanted to go on long rants about The Good Doctor to anyone who had read him, seen the movies, heard of him.
What do I get instead?
“hey asl”
Now, for those of you un-savvy with technospeak these days, “asl” is a request for your age, location, and which set of genitalia you posess. That immediately tosses anonymity to the side, and gives a pretty clear picture of what most people are on omegle for; an online swinger's club. There are any number of places designated for this sort of thing, and omegle ain't one of 'em. Not too long ago, there was a little blurb at the top of the page saying “There are better ways to start a conversation than 'asl!'” This was such a problem the developers changed the website to make note of it. And really, what kind of opening is that, anyway? “asl” is widely accepted as shorthand for “I'm horny and want to use you as masturbation fodder if you conform to a few standards?” and that's okay, I s'pose. I mean, there are real-world equivalents. These are called “pick-up lines.” But these require basic social tenants, like being able to hold a conversation and being deceptive enough to convince the other party that you really DO care about more than getting laid. The good folks on omegle I ran into decided to go in for something a little more blunt. When I told them that I was XX amount of years, living in X state, and male, they'd log off. Change that to 'female...' and you get some interesting responses...
“u horny baby?” “u wanna cam” “imagine im ur dad and wan to have sex wit u”
These are direct quotes. There are, in this world, people who approached a stranger in that exact manner. Human beings exist that think it's acceptable to talk to another person in such a fashion. Here's a practical experiment; go up to someone and say the following : “I want to see you naked so I can masturbate to you. I don't care about your name, but how old are you?” See what happens. Don't ask me to post your bail. Now, just because you can't see another person doesn't make this any more acceptable in an environment not designated for that kind of interaction. I'm not trying to go all socially-responsible-good-boy-journalist on you, here. I normally don't give a fuck. I'll let Livetta talk about the sociological and gender-binary issues here; she understands that mojo way better than I do. But I spent days trying to have an intelligent conversation with someone, anyone, and mostly got propositioned for sex. Come on, internet. Anonymous people are people, too.
There is a bright side to this. After one and one-half days of no sleep, I went a little insane. I decided in my haze that if these folks were going to ignore social conventions, then, dammit, so was I. So every time someone asked for my “asl” I'd paste the entirety of “The Great Gatsby” into the conversation box and yell obscenities, ro start lecturing on it, until they went away. I got a little preemptive, though. I knew I had a problem when I demanded to see someone's thumbs to prove their humanity and then said “Hi.”
I'm still on omegle most nights. I'm still looking for good conversation. So go on. Head there. Talk to me. Let's discuss. But if you ask me for my “asl,” shiteyes, then prepare to suck my novel.
Mahalo,
Uncle Tambour.
Www.omegle.com Come talk to me.
Livetta.blogspot.com You really want to read this blog. I promise.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A Few Thoughts on the D.C. scrap
Sarah Palin
I tend to rag on Sarah Palin a lot, don't I? She's earned it. Sarah Palin might be one of the most useless pseudo-politicians in a big crowd, contributing nothing to the McCain campaign except a plug on a dying skit comedy show, still trying to talk a big game after she's made it staggeringly clear that she has little to no idea of how Washington works, and showing up frequently in my newsfeeds. All of 'em. She's replaced George W. Bush as the GOP media darling, and I've got a problem with this; George had an affability to his incompetence, a kind of good-ol'-boy air that he was just trying his hardest, that he was just a simple Texan man trying to make some good in this world by running a big chunk of it. That air, of course, fell apart when anyone remembered that he was a Bush, that he had grown up around politics--that his father was President. Sarah just reeks of uselessness. She's got no amiability to her; George, I have said many times, might be surrounded by fundamentally evil human beings, but I'd still like to have a beer and talk baseball with him. I don't want to be in the same state as Sarah Palin. That quote, I think, sums her up: all enthusiasm, no coherence.
Speaking of Palin, not too long after she announced boldly that she'd like to take a stab at the White House herself (though she'd still also gladly endorse John "The Zombie" McCain), Sam Wurzelbacher threw himself back into the spotlight again, this time to let America know that John McCain "ruined his life." For those who get their news entirely from headlines, Mr. Wurzelbacher is better known as "Joe the Plumber," the popular face of "middle America." He was, for a stint, the GOP's wet dream; a good looking middle-middle class American calling the face of the opposing party a "Socialist." Now Joe has turned his back on McCain and Palin, saying that the McCain campaign has "screwed up his life." He said that he supported McCain as "the lesser of two evils," but now makes a fantastic comment that "at least [Obama] was honest about what he was going to do."
That's the kind of politics I have to admire, and the kind of political sense I like. Wurzelbacher made a point of saying that he still firmly disagrees with more or less everything Obama and his administration represents, but he at least tosses him the grudging admiration of honesty. I felt the same way about a few politicians on the ticket in 2008, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way about whoever they line up at the abbatoir in 2012.
In other news, happy Lent to all my Catholic followers. Here's to hoping that your fast went well, that your ashes didn't get in your eye, and that those 40 days without whatever go by quickly.
P.S. Here's an interview of Wurzelbacher with Sean Hannity. In true Fox News form, about as fair and balanced as a skinhead in a synagogue:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,586332,00.html
Question for my readers: what do you think of Hannity's questioning here? I'll share my thoughts later; I want to hear from you. Mahalo!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Today was dead-slow, as far as news goes. I realized that George W. Bush has completely faded away, dropped entirely under the radar, and I was impressed. This was the President that cameramen practically tripped over themselves to catch, if only for the entertainment value. The blurb-writers loved him; in four years he offered up so much imparseable pseudo-wisdom that there are now a dozen "Bushism" calenders, each with different quotes from "Dubya." Anyone know what he's up to these days? According to wikipedia, he's in Texas, writing a book about his stint as Fearless Leader of the Free World. But when was the last time he was on camera? His farewell address? Did he attend Obama's inauguration? I don't remember. Still, you've got to admire that. The man has his time in the limelight, and he's bowed out quiet. I suppose the media has plenty to say and a few more talking heads to pick up the "Absurd Quotes" quota.
I wonder what goes through his head these days. I can't help but think about the lambasting from....more or less everyone left of center, and I wonder if he still thinks he made the right decisions.
This is sloppy writing, and I know it. At this point, I'm writing to get words on the page. get my head used to the idea of thoughts going directly from brain-meat to onscreen with no in-between. I'll need that pretty soon.
In other news, the B-Radical harmonica got released today. I'll do a write-up of my experience with the B-Radical, but I'll say this; it lives up to the hype.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Entry One: Early Morning Ramblings
"Hey, I've got stuff to say. I should start a blog!"
And so here we are, you and I (whoever you out there might be.) First thoughts of the day are on something I caught on the Channel 4 Power Hour or whatever the hell they're calling these "newscasts" these days. Sarah Palin is on the chopping block again, this time for keeping Q&A session notes written on the palm of her hand. The more tongue-in-cheek commentators have taken to calling this "Palmgate," because the '-gate' suffix won't get old in American politics until we can't actually remember who Richard Nixon was. Whatever your thoughts on Palin's actions and how that reflects on her leadership/intelligence/right to claim that she is, in fact, sentient, what this really shows is that Sarah Palin has now become the GOP's rodeo clown. While the Party scrambles to pull itself together in time for the 2010 elections (and starts pre-gaming for the Big Race in 2012,) they're tossing Sarah "Can See Russia From Her House" Palin, the woman who has been cited as the number one reason John McCain lost the Presidential election, in front of all the cameras for her to do her thing. From making less-than-offhand comments about taking on Barack Obama in '12 to the latest Palin "whoopsie" moment, Sarah is exactly what the GOP could use now: a face to make them look comfortable and ridiculous (certainly anything but a threat!) while the real players get lined up. It's an opossum's play, and it's working fantastically at the moment.
So who are the "real players?" I'm betting Scott Brown; this is a young, charismatic, good-looking guy with a fantastic military record who sits just on the fence enough on major issues to be relatively comfortable to most people. He's certainly bold enough to go for the Big Chair after a two-year stint in the Senate. Word has it that Jeb Bush will run; I wish him the best of luck. He was a miserable soul-sucker of a governer and the brother of the most lambasted president since Jimmy Carter. The Bush name, if you ask me, is still mud in D.C. Some familiar faces, Bobby Jindal, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney...more thoughts on all this later. Just something to keep in mind: watch how often Sarah is in the media, and remember the giggles when the GOP starts swinging.