It's Been Slow Today

So I'm going to leave you with a little pre-sermon reading material. More will be discussed tomorrow. In the meantime, write me. Ask me questions. Offer to birth my children so that my clearly superior genes might be carried on through the generations. You know, the routine shit.

Mahalo,

Uncle Tambour

http://www.cracked.com/funny-6527-christine-odonnell/

Required reading. Guess what we're talking about tomorrow. Sleep well, my little plague pustules.

There will be more

I promise.

Everything I write about, all the stories, all the news...it's all real. And as long as it's happening, I'll talk about it.

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. You're stuck with me. Smile.

I am REBORN

Like Christ, I have arisen. Unlike Christ, I bring beer. And where the Lord spake thus of peace and of loving thy neighbor as thyself, I bring a message of wrath and Most Righteous Anger.

I'm not going to make excuses as to why I let this blog founder; I got busy and stopped writing. Stopped being a Journalist, for a while there. And then one morning I woke up and saw myself in the mirror, and I was disgusted: gaunt, hollow, sallow, uninformed. I was becoming what I hated most. So I drank myself into a stupor, fired up the computer, pulled up my newsfeeds, guzzled mug after mug of day-old coffee, and got wired. I read my last post, and I remembered what I started for; I remembered that someone needed to give a shit and make other people give a shit, and it might as well be me.

So let's talk. There's some things I want to say about Christine "Not a Witch" O'Donnell, but most of them can be summed up with the phrase "cataclysmic numbshit." I'll rant when I feel like it, but there's something burning in my blood that needs attention called to it.

Right now, in the state of Florida, there's a law that has backing. This law says (paraphrasing from the Miami Herald) that, in addition to the old song and dance from Arizona giving police the ability to question anyone's citizenship upon "reasonable suspicion," "Even if an officer has "reasonable suspicions" over a person's immigration status, the bill says, a person will be "presumed to be legally in the United States" if he or she provides "a Canadian passport" or a passport from any "visa waiver country." Those countries, by the way, are all in Western Europe, apart from four in Asia.

"What's this mean, Uncle Tambour?" I hear you cry. It means, children, that there is a law being drafted that says racial discrimination is A-OK in Florida, and brown people need to watch their shit. Keep IDs on them at all times. Be able to prove their citizenship and legal status at the drop of a hat. Just brown people. Maybe black people, too, I don't know. But, anyone Not White. When did David Duke win Florida?

One last thing: Rick Scott, the man who backed this bill, and who is also running for Governor of Florida, went on record as saying that the bill was worded as it is to be "comfort language to Canadians." Because the majority of non-Americans in Florida are absolutely, no doubt...Canadians.

Letters will be written. Whiskey will be involved.

I'm back from the dead, you bastards. Be glad to see me.

Mahalo,

Uncle Tambour