How did I miss this?

I have a Twitter. I don't really post anything there; any ejaculations of my ethereal brilliance are usually aimed right down YOUR quivering gullets. I keep a Twitterfeed around because everyone else has one, and it's trendy to toss out your every thought to the world like some kind of stream-of-consciousness Tourette's. But politicians all keep Twitters, and THEY are the reason I've always got my feed running. They keep me connected and entertained and (very rarely) informed. And I was just caught off guard right now, because I was just told by Tim Pawlenty that the first GOP Presidential Debate is tonight.

I know I said it's a won race, and I'm sticking to that. But I'll be offering a postmortem later tonight, because I have to keep you fed with brainthinks, my babies.

And also, it should be funny as HELL.

I read the news today, oh boy...

So if you've been living under a rock, a team of 12 Navy SEALs found and killed Osama Bin Laden. Barack Obama followed it up with a speech that can only be described as a political masterwork. On the one hand, my red-white-and-blue hard-on is raging massive like God right now. Yes, celebrating the death of a human is bad (or so the hippies tell me.) I felt a twinge of pride that justice had been served. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. I think the fact that I litter my front yard with land-mines makes me a far worse person, but whatever.

The bad news is that I don't have much left to talk about. The election's over, Obama's won it. Donald Trump would have to shit a little of star-spangled kittens that meow "God Bless America" in perfect harmony in order to put a dent in the margins. Talk amongst yourselves, my darling little acid dreams. Think back on these past ten years. For at least a little while, I'll be lurking in the shadows, watching carefully for something new to pounce on.

Tambour